Welcome to Womb & Wellness: The Beginning of My Holistic TTC Journey
If you would’ve told my 18 year old self that I would be writing a blog about fertility, pregnancy, and motherhood, I would’ve laughed in your face. I never saw myself being a mother. 10 years ago I moved back to my hometown in Arizona and met my, now, wife. And even then we both said we just wanted to be aunties, we spent so much time with our niece and we just loved the role we got to play in her life. After we got married and settled into life together, the idea of expanding our family seemed like the next best thing.
Around that time one of my brothers had a baby. When she was about 6 months old he asked if we wanted to babysit, immediately I thought, this is so overwhelming, maybe this isn’t for me. So I leaned back and forth for a while on the idea. My wife was leaning heavily off, at that time she wasn’t ready to be a mom. About 5 years ago we finally found the same page, the baby fever was constant, and I was itching for something more out of my life.
A friend of ours is a nurse practitioner, and her and her wife had successfully done an in-home insemination. I went to her and asked her how she did it, where they ordered from, and what were her tips for success. We tried 8 times in 2 years. Which brings me here.
Every time I got a negative pregnancy test or started my period, I would find a new book, listen to a new podcast, and spend time doing endless research on what we could have done wrong and what we should do better next time. There have been many moments on this journey where I have asked myself and the powers that be if I am meant to be a mom. The problem I continued to find in reading and listening is that it is often targeted to those trying to get pregnant naturally in a heterosexual relationship. Which is not my experience. I would have friends and family members tell me that if we “stop trying” we will get pregnant, the stress is impacting my ability to conceive. Well, I can’t stop taking my body temperature, peeing on LH strips, tracking my cervical mucus, taking TTC supplements and eating fertility friendly meals, because I have to order our donor sperm at a certain time, and ensure it gets here timely and that we do the insemination on the right day. So just not trying anymore would be giving up on motherhood completely.
After failure number 8, we decided to go to a fertility specialist to see if there were any reasons why I wasn’t getting pregnant. We had one appointment where I had a transvaginal ultrasound and got my bloodwork done. My ultrasound was perfect, no concerns with my uterus, really good egg quality (for someone in their 30’s), and my bloodwork was on that same note, perfect. I was frustrated. If everything is perfect, why am I not getting pregnant.
Let’s step back for one second, before we tried for the first time I had gone to get a pap smear by my local OB/GYN to ensure I was good to start trying. I was given a green light. The doctor had told me to order IUI because it was “clean” sperm, and quite literally you just get the swimmers in a tube that looks like coffee straw. He said that it was safer for me, that it may take longer to get pregnant, but it was the better option. This is what we did 8 times. Unsuccessfully.
Now fast forward, the fertility doctor told us that IUI is meant for in clinic use only, for home inseminations you should order ICI. Frustrated would be an understatement thinking about the thousands of dollars we had spent on donor sperm. So after some thought, we decided that we wanted to try ICI at home one time to see if it worked, mostly because it was cheaper, and then we would try IUI or IVF. We have even considered adoption. Which has always been in the plan, have one, adopt one. And I have thought many times that maybe we just switch which one comes first.
Last month we did the ICI in-home insemination with no luck. So now, we are in the middle of lots of testing to do our first IUI with the fertility doctor. I know I will become a mom when I am meant to be a mom, this entire journey is teaching me the patience I know I will need to be a parent.
I have found that finding groups, books, and podcasts that speak about motherhood help me in the waiting periods. It makes me feel like I am working towards my goal. My wife probably gets tired of all the weird things that come up, eating organ meat is probably at the top, but she is a good sport and knows we are changing our lives in order to bring a healthy baby into this world.
This is the shortest picture of the last two years and what has brought me here. In posts to come you will find daily rituals, non-toxic swaps in your home and beauty products, affirmations in the hard times, emotional support, yummy fertility friendly meals, and all the prenatal and pregnancy safe supplements I have tried. Now you will find below book and podcast recommendations that I have learned a lot from and have truly enjoyed learning from. Recommendations I wish I would’ve known about from the start.
Book Recommendations:
Awakening Fertility - The Essential Art of Preparing for Pregnancy - Heng Ou
9 month isn’t Enough - The Ultimate Pre-Pregnancy Checklist to Create a Baby-Ready Body and Build Generational Health - Alexandria DeVito
The Zen Mama Guide to Finding Rhythm in Pregnancy, Birth, and Beyond - Sarah Wright Olsen and Theresa Palmer
How We Heal - Alexandra Elle
Podcast Recommendations:
Mindful in Minutes - Kelly Smith
Perelel Lives - Alex Taylor
The Mother Daze with Sarah Wright Olsen and Theresa Palmer
The Great Birth Rebellion - Dr. Melanie Jackson
Grounded Wellness by Primally Pure
